INSPIRATIONAL Story of Breast Cancer Survivor CATHIE BROWN

It would be really nice to say that the discovery of my purpose came in one single, miraculous flash of insight, but nothing could be further from the truth. My searching began around the age of 11 when I first had the feeling that there was something I was meant to do. So it’s taken me almost 50 years, four ‘nervous’ breakdowns, one unsuccessful marriage, several equally unsuccessful relationships, financial challenges and more recently the assessment of breast cancer to provide the clarity of purpose I enjoy today.

For much of my adult life I did consider myself a ‘victim’, constantly analysing myself and asking if my life was meant to be a struggle. I regularly asked myself what I’d done to deserve the hand I’d been dealt.

The one thing I believed was that there had to be something better. In 1995 an opportunity arose that allowed me to leave an 11 year career as a Local Government Housing Officer and I ventured into the business world. Within a few months of me becoming self employed, I was introduced to my first personal development book and it blew me away!

‘The Power of Your Subconscious Mind’ by Dr. Joseph Murphy, what a revelation that was! For the first time in my life I could see a causal relationship between my own thoughts and my negative experiences. I was so excited to realise that by changing my thinking, I could change my life and in that moment, I knew I didn’t have to remain a victim.

This was a major turning point in my life and I began to take responsibility for my own thoughts. I became a serious student of self-help books, devouring at least one new book a week. With each new book came greater insights and a renewed sense of self-confidence. Many of the books were spiritual and some were about the human body’s ability to heal itself. Two books that stand out in my mind were Louise Hay’s “Heal Your Life” and Brandon Bays “The Journey”. These books in particular helped me begin the difficult, but critical process of forgiveness, first starting to forgive those who I believed had hurt me and perhaps more importantly, forgiving myself for hurting others. I also worked on my limiting beliefs and noticed that as I changed internally, my outer circumstances changed.

A few years later, I moved to Spain with my husband Dave, and on 31st December 2001, I just felt compelled to express my innermost feelings on paper. It was a wonderful experience and it was as though the words just flowed ‘through’ me onto the paper. I continue to read it to this day. One line read “Inspiration will come from my Mentors and my Innerself. Guidance will come from my Creator”. At that time I didn’t even understand what the term “Innerself” meant, but I had this strong feeling that I was being guided in some way. A decision I made at that time was that when I was able to afford it, I would have my own mentor to support and inspire me.

Over the next few years I continued to learn about myself and came across another revelation, The Law of Attraction (LOA) and in May 2008, author, Peter Field contacted me about a Law of Attraction club that I was setting up. Peter had just written his first book Lighten Your Load based on the LOA and other universal laws and his book had received favourable acclaim from some of the stars in the hit movie The Secret. Peter was looking to present some LOA workshops in the UK and because of our shared desire to inspire and empower others with our personal stories, we subsequently became business partners. Peter, unbeknown to him, became the mentor I had been searching for!

Since meeting Peter, my shift in consciousness has been profound. Through the teachings shared in our blog www.magneticlifestyle.com I began to understand the important distinction between who I am (spiritual being) and what I do (conditioned behaviour). I realised that despite everything I had been told, it is ok not to feel ok and sadness or unhappiness are just some of the many emotions human beings are capable of experiencing. If I feel or behave badly nowadays, instead of thinking I should be perfect, I don’t despise myself or feel guilty like I did before. Instead, I’m just aware of my behaviour and accept it as part of my own evolutionary growth and this has enabled me to love and accept myself unconditionally despite any weaknesses and imperfections.

In March 2010 Peter and I were introduced to a revolutionary new technology which, although we didn’t know at the time, was to be pivotal in enabling me to live my life on purpose. It was a technology that harnessed the power of Zero Point Field Energy, which when brought into the presence of any dis-ease or pain, supported the body’s own innate intelligence to heal itself. Just like the discovery of gravity and electricity, it was a source of power that’s always been here, but required the awareness and understanding of how to harness it. Ever since reading Heal Your Life and The Journey, I’d continued to believe in the body’s innate intelligence to heal itself, and here was a revolutionary technology that greatly facilitated this healing process in the simplest of ways.

Because of Peter’s personal interest in Zero Point Field Energy and my belief in the healing capacity of the body, we both resonated and openly embraced this technology and have since enjoyed incredible results.

However, my belief system was put to the ultimate test in June 2010, when I was assessed with a grade 3 breast cancer. Within 2 weeks I underwent the first operation of a lumpectomy, together with the removal of 2 of my lymph nodes. One of the lymph nodes was subsequently found to be cancerous and 3 weeks later, in a second operation, all the lymph nodes were removed. Peter sent me a wonderful gift of a book, which I so resonated with, written by Andreas Moritz “Cancer is not a Disease, it is a Surival Mechanism”. At no time during the first or second operation did I take any kind of painkillers or medication. Instead I relied on two of the Zero Point Field Energy products to provide instant pain relief and facilitate my own body’s healing mechanism. The results were absolutely incredible.

Within a few days of the first operation, I was dancing at our local pub. After one week following the second operation, the ‘drain’ (which was suggested could normally be kept in for up to three weeks), was removed from under my arm without any discomfort. The nurse who removed the drain was amazed as this procedure is normally extremely painful. On 17th August 2010, I returned to the hospital to get the results for my remaining lymph nodes. In my heart I knew the cancer had gone and the meeting went exactly as I’d visualized it. No cancer had been found in the rest of the lymph nodes and I was told the cancer had gone!

From day one, I believed that the breast cancer was a gift and was going to provide opportunities, though I didn’t know exactly how. In many ways, the assessment of cancer was a wake-up call for me and a timely reminder that life is precious. In the absence of such a wake-up call, it is easy to get lost in the busyness of the day and forget that life’s clock is ticking. I am so grateful that I ‘attracted’ this amazing technology into my life when I did, because I know the products played a crucial role in the speed of my recovery.

More generally, however, it has helped me clarify my purpose for being here. Over the last 59 years I’ve carried out valuable ‘research’ into how to overcome mental, physical, relationship and financial challenges.

Peter and myself are now in the process of writing a book titled “A Return to Wellness” which charters my journey and which we believe will help and inspire other people who may be undergoing similar challenges.

You can find out more about the amazing products which helped in my recovery from cancer at www.wandtheworldtoday.com .

Also to find out more about Cathie's forthcoming events, please email amegawandreview@gmail.com .

Copyright © Jolita Kelias, Oct 2010

All Rights Reserved

INTERVIEW with Balinese Dancer/ Performer NI MADE PUJAWATI

Panyembrama (The Welcome Dance)

Ni Madé Pujawati started dancing ever since she can remember. Born in a remote Balinese village with only paraffin lamps at night, she crept away from home at night to learn dancing. As she was so talented, she was admitted to the Indonesian Conservatory of Music before going on graduate from the Indonesian Institute of Arts. So she learned music and acting, as well as different Indonesian dance styles, both female and male.
In 2000, Ni Madé Pujawati moved to live permanently in London, UK, where she set up her own dance company. She also brought over with her one of Bali's most beautiful old gamelans, the rare seven-tone Semar Pagulingan, Puja Semara Kanti, and senior dancers and musicians to teach and perform in the UK.

Because of the range and unusual quality of her performance, Ni Madé Pujawati has been in increasing demand as a performer, now usually going on tour of Europe, the USA and Asia every year, performing a wide repertoire which includes not only classical Balinese and Javanese dance, but Balinese theatre, adaptations of Greek tragedy and, more recently, a range of contemporary choreographies and cross-cultural pieces which blend Balinese, Javanese and Bharatanatyam styles. She has also explored performing Balinese dance-opera in English to make it accessible to Western audiences.

You are a dancer. What does a Dance mean to you personally? What qualities does it express through you whenever you dance?

I started dancing when I was a little girl – so small I cannot remember quite how old I was. Then I performed mostly for temple festivals with lots of other girls and boys. Learning dances, practising and performing together have always given me great pleasure. When I was in a secondary school I had a dream of being a dance teacher. Then I went to KOKAR (The Indonesian National Conservatory for the Arts) for 4 years and then to The Indonesian Institute of Arts, the place where all the leading Balinese dancers train, for another 4 years, which gave me my degree in dance.

When I was a little girl dancing for temple festivals I simply felt happiness and joy at dancing. But those feelings have changed since I started at KOKAR. I started to think what the character of the dance was whenever I danced. There are so many different kinds of dances. They ranged from friendly ‘Welcome Dance’ when your job was to appear sweet and charming to angry, strong or aggressive dances. My point here is that, when I dance, I have to transform myself into the character that the dance is about. I am not myself any more. I have become the figure in the dance.

The qualities that I express through dance depend on many considerations. First, it depends where I am performing and for what reason. Second, it depends a lot on my mood that day, and especially at that very moment. Third, what happens depends on the audience, the environment at the time, what is going on in the world at the time, even the weather. None of this is predictable. Balinese recognize this and say such matters are to do with désa kala patra – place, time and circumstances.

What is Balinese Dance?

To satisfy the demand of tourists in the twentieth century, dance had to be radically re-imagined. What is at issue is nicely encapsulated in the Indonesian name given to this genre, tari lepas ‘free dance’, that is dance which has been separated from all the cultural contexts of its original performance. This ‘free dance’ came to be branded and franchised as uniquely and authentically Balinese. The amusing thing is that eight years later, local people have come to think of these dances originally for tourists as what makes them Balinese.

It is in this sense that I use ‘dance’ in what follows, as against ‘theatre’, which are the kinds of dramatic stories Balinese performed for themselves. This leaves what Europeans – and now sometimes Balinese! – understand by dance interestingly problematic. For example, Baris (male war dances), Topèng (masked dance), Jauk and Tèlèk (both taken from religious performance to ward off supernatural dangers) were taken from theatre and religious rites. Other dances such as Panyembrama (the Welcome Dance) and Olèg Tamulilingan (The Dance of the Bumblebees) were choreographed for western audiences, the latter at the request of the English impresario John Coast for his famous tour of the UK and USA in the 1950s. Some, like Lègong (dances traditionally by pre-pubescent girls) were so stripped down that it is difficult to know quite what relationship they bore to their precursors.

Dance is a Western word. Balinese just talk about sesolahan (in High Balinese) and Igelan (in Low Balinese). That just means 'performance'. As all theatre in Bali is ad lib, nothing is fixed, but is reimagined on the spot. What I think you are calling ‘dance’ is what Balinese perform mostly for tourists. These are fairly set pieces and involve a degree of improvisation in facial expression, but the formats are set and it is mostly about performing the technical moves correctly with style and flair.

What Balinese Dance can offer to the dancer and to the watcher?

Dance can offer to the dancer things such as pleasure and satisfaction, if the dancer can dance with joy and is able to satisfy the audience. But much depends on what the audience itself expects and wants. Children tend to like slapstick; teenagers like romance as do some adults; the older you get the more spectators want a point to the story, i.e. what can it tell us about the human condition? However, audiences in Bali vary from village to village and it is the job of the first actor on stage to feel what that particular audience feel like on that particular night.

Please tell me, is it hard to tell the story when dancing? What ways and expressions do you use in order to tell the meaning of the story?

In Balinese theatre the performers tell stories through songs and dialogues. Balinese dance is completely different, for example, from Indian dance where every gesture has a meaning. Balinese dance movements are abstract. That is dance is based on unusual movements that we do not use in daily life. However, we adapt some from daily movements with exaggeration such as pointing, getting heated, stubbing, kicking etc. Also we adapt expressions such as happy, charming, angry, romantic, sad and so on, but rework them for the stage, so that the audience can recognize and engage with them. So we try to fit in that sort of imitation of daily expressions whatever is the theme of dance to relate it to the audience.

Quite often a whole performance lasting up to an hour can be summed up in three or four sentences. When there are several dancers working together on stage, it requires a great deal of experience to get the performance to flow, to come to life, to ‘take off’ and to engage the audience so that they forget their daily lives and join in what we create on stage. You cannot do that if you have a script, because it is like being chained by the leg. You cannot fly.

How did you come to begin incorporating Balinese dance into English society? Where did it all begin for you here?

When I arrived and settled in London I was so surprised to find out how many Gamelan groups there were in the UK. The famous ones were the Balinese gamelan, Lila Cita, and the Javanese Southbank Gamelan Group. Lila Cita invited me to come to their rehearsals and I did. Soon after, I was performing with Lila Cita. Also I was invited to teach Balinese dance at SOAS (The School of Oriental and African Studies, University of London). At the same time I received many enquiries to give private dance lessons.

Mara's fury at being unable to disturb Buddha's concentration

Do you have a group of people that you personally teach Balinese dance? If yes, how does that work with your busy schedule?

Yes, I have a group called Lila Bhawa that I formed in early 2003 and which I have been directing ever since. Before I set up Lila Bhawa I had a few dancers who were taking private lessons from me and they were good enough to perform with me. So we ended up performing together quite often. One day, in early 2003, Roehampton University asked us to perform and they needed to know the name of our group, so I discussed this with my dancers and we came up with the name of Lila Bhawa, which means – ‘elegant movement’. If we have a performance coming up, then we rehearse as a group pretty much every weekend for at least a month or so beforehand. Quite often Lila Bhawa performs to recorded music; sometimes with the Lila Cita gamelan. It depends on the budget. Since 2004 we have been performing twice a year at the London Symphony Orchestra’s second venue, at St. Luke’s Jerwood Hall.

Are there any other dances you do besides Balinese dance?

I feel very fortunate that when I was at KOKAR and the Institute of Arts in Bali I was required to learn a whole range of National Dances as part of the curriculum. Because of that I learned lots of different dances from different islands/places in Indonesia, from Java, Sumatra, Sunda, Sulawesi, Kalimantan etc. Three years after my arrival in London, I started to perform with the Southbank Gamelan Players, which plays Javanese gamelan. Five years after my arrival in London I started to work with a well known artist, Hi Ching Lim, who directed a company called River Cultures. There I met many different dancers from all over the world. I found the way they worked very interesting. All the dancers contributed different movements from their own repertoire of dance styles to make the choreography look more interesting. In that way all the dancers would have had to learn those particular movements such as Bharatanatyam, Kathak, Odissy, Ballet, Flamengko (Spanish dance), Bollywood, Balinese and Javanese dance styles. Our last two productions were very interesting. All the dancers were performing on stilts.

Performing on stilts? How long did it take for you to prepare yourself for such a performance? Did you perform like this only once or many more times?

I started 3 years ago. I was very scared the first time I tried. I managed to walk; but I was not comfortable performing or doing any dance movements. However, about a year ago River Cultures was doing a production where all dancers had to dance on stilts. The title of the production was Nature's Icons. It was about the Goddess Durga in her battle against Mahisha, as they battled for control of nature. It was an exciting outdoor production for Melas (that is Indian festivals) and funded by The Arts Council. Partners were Southampton Mela, Crawley Mela and Emergency Exit Arts (EEA). They invited me to join them, but I said ‘No way’. At first I absolutely refused to dance on stilts, but then I became curious. Eventually I decided to give a try. All the performers were great. Seeing them comfortable dancing on stilts inspired me to do the same. I used the short stilts first called ‘the baby stilts’ as they were only 20cm high. After 10 minutes of practice, I felt sufficiently comfortable to give a try to the tall ones, which were 90cm in height. It was scary but it felt great. So, I have been performing on stilts with the group ever since. I performed with the group in Melas around the UK in summer 2009 and 2010.

The work you do sounds incredibly interesting, artistic, rich of various experiences and possibilities. What are your plans for the end year of 2010 and the new year of 2011? Are there any more performances planned for this period of time?

I have quite a number of projects coming up in 2011-12. At the moment, I am rehearsing with my group, Lila Bhawa, for their forthcoming performance. Lila Bhawa will be performing at The LSO St Luke’s in March 2011, also several performances are planned for the Horniman Museum for their exhibition on Bali Dance (April 2011-March 2012). In fact I am consultant to the Horniman for that exhibition and shall probably be doing a whole range of workshops there. I am also teaching at Essex University’s acting college, East 15 and at SOAS. Perhaps the most exciting is that I am involved in a project to reimagine Balinese engagement with Westerners and Western intellectuals, which has been so important to the creation of the modern idea of Bali. It is called Bali: after the End of the World. We have just finished filming the prologue, which is about the actor and theatre writer Antonin Artaud’s famous encounter with Balinese dance at the Paris Exposition in 1931. With luck we should be shooting the whole film in Bali in July and August 2011 with an international cast of actors and dancers.

Watch Ni Made Pujawati performing Tarunajaya:

And Contemporary dance

If you would like more information of all the performances and upcoming events, you will find them on these websites: http://www.balinesedance.org/ and http://www.sea-arts.net/ .


Gambyong Paréanom with the Southbank Gamelan Players in the Royal Festival Hall Ballroom

Copyright © Jolita Kelias, Oct 2010
All Rights Reserved