"The whole Universe is you. The whole Universe is within you. The father and mother principle are within you. The male and female, the creator, enjoyer and destroyer aspects are also within you. You are manifesting those realities that you wanted to enjoy and not wanted to enjoy through the love and hate mechanisms inside you.
What you resist will persist. Through resisting you are affirming a particular situation in your own life. You are using energy for all the creation that you make. Energy is imperishable. Energy leaves the impression on the canvas called Universe which manifests as conscious realities. So you are God and you are the Satan aspect too. You are everything. You are the Universe."
Mohanji, April, 2008
I found out about the now widely known book “The Law of Attraction” only a year ago – however, I have unknowingly applied the principles of this Law long back, and am now enjoying the fruits of that action in my daily life.
My name is Biba. I come from former Yugoslavia, a country that is no more, except in the hearts and nostalgic memory of many of its people. Due to war in 1991, refugee experience, three years of working as a Translator for United Nations in the war zones, and many years of 'out of the comfort zone' life in different parts of the world, I was fortunate to dwell into many aspects of life with depth and intensity.
I thus strongly believe that our own Direct Experience is our best teacher and is, in the end, the only reality to each one of us. We may learn many theories, study the scriptures, intellectualize and philosophize, but in the end, what carries the weight (especially when times are tough) is our greatest teacher - the real life experience.
When I underwent the experience of a refugee at the age of 14, my agonizing reality brought me to the 'rock bottom' of depression, self-pity and despair. At that very moment, something within me suddenly awoke with a rebel yell: "I am not a victim!" It was then that I made a strong vow to myself that I would study hard and get a highly esteemed, internationally recognized diploma, so that, if we lose our house and property again, for whatever reason, I will always be able to earn money and support myself and my loved ones. It was the power and intensity of this pledge that somehow brought me no less than US$ 80,000 in scholarships, with zero connections, all based only on strong faith and standard application process via Internet.
As I was completing my postgraduate studies in USA in 2004, witnessing the fulfilment of a dream that seemed so impossible only five years back and was about to receive the Master of Arts in Peace Studies Diploma from the famous Notre Dame University in Indiana, something changed within me. It was a strange occurrence. I just knew it, then and there – it is now that my real journey begins!
There was one more dream that I had, a dream that consumed me completely and became more intense than anything else I could ever want in life. It awoke within me with great intensity during Spring Break 2004, when I was sitting by the lake of Notre Dame Campus, reading the book that changed my life - “The Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahamsa Yogananda.
The very way in which this book entered my reality symbolized my new path in life – the path rarely treaded by common masses, the path of aloneness on the way to our inner ‘top of the mountain’ – the path of self-actualization.
A few days before the Spring Break at Notre Dame, I was walking through a book store at the campus when suddenly a strange tingling sensation made me pause in wonder. To my bewilderment, there was an actual vibration felt from one of the book shelves, followed by a strong ‘gut feeling’ that I must look into this. I followed this most unusual tingle and my hand soon reached a book with an orange cover. That special moment, when my eyes met with the glowing eyes of Paramahamsa Yogananda, the author of this book depicted on the cover page, marked the beginning of my new path. Now that my worldly dream was fulfilled, it was time to work towards fulfilment of my soul’s dream.
This profound autobiography was much more than a book to me. It was strangely alive! Indeed, more alive than most people I met in my life... It is a book of deep spiritual experiences, an eye-opener, a great friend. This book transformed me and came as a quencher of a deep-rooted thirst that was soaring within me all my life, but was somehow ignored, awaiting the right time to sprout to the surface.
When this "click" happened within me, it fascinated and scared me at the same time – the challenge has been recognized and now there was no turning back.
As I was going through the pages of this book, many long-awaited answers finally reached me. I was overjoyed, deeply touched, ecstatic, actually.
One particular insight from this book was instrumental in the formation of the dream of my life – Paramahamsa Yogananda said that, aside from our spiritual practice and selfless service to humanity, the fastest and most safe way to self-realization is to be in a physical proximity of a Master. He said, when we are continuously present near a spiritually awakened being, our aura (energy field) starts attuning to those vibrations, and the subtle impressions in the Master’s muscle memory start to transfer onto us. Indeed, he said, blessed are those who are able to be in the ‘satsang’ (company) of a Master daily – that itself is one of the highest blessings one can receive in life.
Moreover, through this book I learned of the great ocean of inner faculties that our Creator endowed us with and, at least intellectually, received an understanding of what it means to ‘master the mind’ and establish oneself at the apex of purest Truth, Love, Bliss and Surrender.
The book felt so personal, so real, especially because the image drawn on one of the pages corresponded fully to someone special that I encountered two years prior, while I was a student in Rome, Italy. That remains one of the most profound mystical experiences I have had to this day.
Armed with the insights from this book, I was finally able to grasp what actually happened to me that evening in Rome – I was blessed with an Astral Encounter with none other than the greatest of the Yogis – the immortal Himalayan Master, Mahavatar Babaji. I allowed the goose bumps, tears, emotions, sensations of inner expansion, and whatever else came to just flow as I swallowed the pages of this living book, oblivious to time, space and physical needs. It was then that I understood the greatness of the astral experience that I had. To meet a Master of Mahavatar Babaji’s stature is close to impossible – I felt encouraged to dream big, to ask for the impossible. The life experiences of the Masters depicted in this book gave me something new to aspire to, something truly worth it – the full flowering of our inner potential, the fulfilment of a soul’s ultimate quest – spiritual awakening!
I knew it then and there that no other worldly goal could ever come close to this – once we bask in the glory of a majestic sunrise, the light of a lamp looks so sadly feeble. Most famous scholars were lecturing at Notre Dame, my fellow students were dreaming of PhD in Harvard, etc., and I was just so not interested. I did not even attempt to explain to my Career Counsellor what happened in my inner space after reading this book – my whole life suddenly made so much more sense to me. Yes, I knew that this is why I came to this world, that this is why I survived all the obstacles of life including that of a near death experience in 2000.
However, I also understood that this journey is far from easy – all our fears, inhibitions, wrong habits, confusions, mental constructions, social conditionings, notions of identity and separation stand in the way. And yet, each one of us longs, from deep within, to somehow break through all the inner blockages and find our way to ‘the top of the mountain’. I did not know how, but I knew that one day, I will walk with the Masters, the Self-Realized ones, I will vibrate at their most subtle, most loving frequency, I will be their instrument - out here, serving unconditionally. Most importantly, my life partner will be a Master in his own right – we will share all the ups and downs of unconditional service committed fully to the great cause.
This, therefore, is the story of a dream that one must first of all dare to dream and dare to believe in until it really comes true. I did not ask for Spiritual Awakening in a vague way. To have the audacity to ask from the Universe to have an enlightened Master as a life partner is not really common. But this is exactly what I asked for that day - to reach the ultimate self-realization through a deeply fulfilling love relationship with a Master!
This, I felt, was the very quest of my soul – and it could not be ignored any longer.
One month before this life-changing experience happened, I met a very interesting Native American lady who played a major role in helping me crystallize my dream. She lived in a cute little house/trailer in nature, a half an hour drive from Notre Dame University campus. After a life threatening stroke and two-weeks-long near death experience, she returned back to life as an invalid and a gifted clairvoyant. Her daughter, who works as a cleaning lady at Notre Dame Library, came into my life in the most unusual time – around 4am, when I was working hard on mastering one of the many writing challenges that stood in the way of me becoming the Master of Arts in Peace Studies.
As soon as I heard of Martha, I felt a strong pull to meet her. Her daughter took me to Martha’s humble wooden home a few days after our late night encounter at the library. The moment I stepped into her room, Martha’s eyes grew wide and, with a glowing smile, she exclaimed: “I know you – you are the one with the long white hair and the slim waist!”
I was perplexed. Before my mind had any time to analyze what this could possibly mean, she gestured I should come closer to her and then pulled me into a most beautiful, long hug, that of a dear, dear friend whom I got to meet after a long time. I felt instant love towards Martha and became speechless. Her heart was overflowing and, as she kept gazing at/through me with her clairvoyant eyes, it was obvious that she’s seeing so many things, so much so that her verbal expressions can’t follow the speed. In sheer excitement, she started clapping and screaming in a high pitch voice: “Oooooooh! Oooooooh! You are going to be sooooooo loved. You are a blessed soul! Oooooooh! You will live in something like a castle. Ooooh, these palms of yours – they are a magnet for money. Soooooo much money will flow through them. But you will not be attached to that money and many shall benefit from it. So much love! What a light! Divine! Divine!”
I was completely dazzled with this unexpected outpour and, after regaining my senses, managed to say: “And when will all of this be happening, Martha?”
Tears of joy were streaming down her face as the invisible ‘slide show’ of my future continued before her inner vision. She said: “God is going to guide you, my dear. You just focus now on completing your studies. As soon as that is over, just surrender, open your heart and follow the guidance. All will happen, God will guide you. Oh, you will be so loved – he, the one with pure soul, will be there for you at every step, to love and protect you. You will melt in his love and will bear his children. He is a great soul, a golden being. You are blessed!”
I thanked Martha and promised her that, when all this great money starts pouring in, I will surely remember her and, no matter how far I may be, I will help her to come out of her financial challenges.
I saw Martha once again – at the Graduation Party organized by our Kroc Institute for Peace Studies. I invited Martha to be my special guest, along with her daughter and one African American lady (a poverty-stricken former drug addict, coping with the challenges of being HIV positive, uneducated and poor. This lady, nevertheless, had the willpower to study for her final High School exam at the age of forty five – it was an honour to be of help to someone like that). This most unusual trio was to attend the dinner and final ceremony as my family members.
I also prepared one Salsa performance on the stage with a co-student from Sri Lanka who was an experienced Salsa dancer. Sure enough, after our performance, the loudest and most unrestrained cheers came from my "wild family members" who just looked so beautifully spontaneous and different in that fancy environment. It felt so good to see the tears in Martha’s eyes when I was called on stage again to receive my diploma. Only she knew what this diploma meant and how my life was to change from thereon. I knew that her blessings and unconditional love would always be with me as I embrace all the challenges that future brings.
Indeed, after meeting Martha, and especially after reading "Autobiography of a Yogi", I knew that my life will be dedicated to selfless service and spirituality. The pull was stronger than ever to somehow visit the magical India and meet true Masters. But Martha never said anything about the thorns on the path of roses…
The first taste of the ‘thorns’ came as soon as I returned to my "new home country" (after the war, Yugoslavia fell apart and my parents moved from Croatia to Serbia, which became our new home). Within a week I became completely disillusioned – my love life especially was a disaster. My four-year-long platonic love relationship with an unusual multi-talented and spiritual young man from Croatia crashed as I discovered that he just got a child with another lady. In my wishful thinking, I projected all that Martha said about my special partner onto him, and thus it really did hurt. The big balloon made out of my fantasies burst without any warning. I felt completely shattered – neither job nor my love life was happening.
In life, certain important lessons we simply must learn in a hard way, so that the knowledge really sinks in. At that point, I lost all my interest in fortune telling and decided to live my life in the present, with what I have in hand right now.
In order to get my mind off of my idealized platonic love from Croatia, I allowed myself to enter into another relationship a few days later, with an emotionally immature young man from Belgrade. Needless to say, that was an even bigger disaster. I knew the relationship was over the moment he exclaimed proudly: “What meditation means to you, Marihuana means to me. Essentially, it is the same thing – we are both looking for some sort of deep relaxation and a way out from the pressures of life. And I better not see you doing that outside, sitting under the tree like some Buddha loony. I don’t even want to imagine what would happen if any of my friends would see you!” It did not take me long to realize that we were “perfectly incompatible.”
Whatever I tried job-wise did not work out either - my fancy Masters Degree did not mean anything back home, especially not without connections. I became bitter and started to wonder why I even bothered to study so hard. Then one American friend, whom I know since the time I used to work for United Nations, suggested I should come to Dubai, "the New York of the Middle East", and try my luck there. The moment I figured out on the map that Dubai is not too far from India, I decided to give it a shot and accepted the first available office job – anything, just to get moving.
This refreshment felt good and my spiritual journey started almost immediately – I enrolled myself for the various courses of the world-wide spiritual movement called Art of Living foundation. I became very involved with all their activities in Dubai, attended all the possible meditation courses, and each opportunity for travel was used to visit India and soak in more of its magical ancient spiritual wisdom.
However, that was all just a preparation and it wasn't until May 2006 that the real experiences began to unfold. It all started with the visit of Dr. Andjelka (lovingly called Maya) from Croatia, a Holistic Doctor, Marine Biologist and amazing spiritualist who stormed many challenges of life and eventually excelled in holistic healing. Since teen age, she started having conscious dreams, i.e. astral experiences, through which she kept receiving most loving guidance from a great living Master from India called Sathya Sai Baba.
At that time she wanted to become a Catholic nun, but he guided her to study all world religions and expand her horizons first. She remained his sincere devotee all her life.
Until then, I have never met anyone as 'real' as Dr. Maya. She truly lived what she preached and her very presence was powerful. I got to know her through my sister Dana, who, after a year of suffering and loads of pills, finally got healed from a horrible bacterial infection only thanks to Dr. Maya and her amazing Homeopathy cum Radionics treatment.
Dr. Maya arrived to Dubai in April 2006 as a guest of my sister and me, and brought with her, what was at that time, one of the latest discoveries in the field of holistic medicine – the GDV Aura Screening Camera. Through mere fingerprints, this electronic wonder was able to show almost everything about a person who undergoes the screening – the past, present and signs of future health challenges, where one gets stuck emotionally or mentally, all nicely imprinted in the several layers of human aura. That was a real eye-opener, especially after one realizes that our regular allopathic medicine is nothing but a patchwork - it never treats the root cause of the illness and the very diagnosing part is nothing but guesswork.
Aside from her aura screening and holistic healing work, Dr. Maya had another real adventure in mind – to go to India and screen the auras of several enlightened Masters, in order to compile enough scientific material for a book through which she would explain and depict the changes that human aura will eventually undergo, as we evolve spiritually.
Naturally, I was fascinated with the whole project - bringing myself back into my office job groove after most inspiring conversations with Dr. Maya was a real challenge. After a few days of her stay in Dubai, she shocked me with the following suggestion: "Why don't you take two weeks off from work and join me for this trip to India. I would need someone who would help me carry all the equipment, take the notes, and, most of all, share the fun."
I was speechless – what a blessing! Well, of course, I will come! All the obstacles on the path – such as the leave approval at work, visa, etc. were resolved so smoothly that I knew without an iota of doubt that, yes, I am destined to go with Dr. Maya! Enlightened Masters of India – here I come! My joy knew no bounds.
The first Master we met was Hira Ratan Manek from Calicut, Kerala – the first Yogi, who agreed to have NASA scientists stay with him for three months, as he underwent the unpleasant testing period with electrodes on his body 24/7 - all in order to prove that he indeed lives from the Sun and requires no food whatsoever (he practices what is called Sun Gazing - one hour within sunrise and/or sunset). What a mighty presence – a tall and sturdy man, with striking resemblance to a Native American tribal chief. It's one of those things that one has to see in order to believe. I was dazzled and speechless, especially when, before leaving, he gifted me "Divine Romance", another book by Paramahamsa Yogananda – as if he knew what Yogananda's first book meant to me! I took this as a subtle sign, a confirmation that Masters are now bringing me closer towards them. My heart was full!
After a few more adventures, we embraced the long-awaited peak experience - we headed towards Brindavan, the summer camp of Sathya Sai Baba (at the outskirts of Bangalore). Dr. Maya was not sure whether she will be granted the opportunity to screen Baba's aura, but she said one thing was for sure – in His presence, everything will speed up, the right things will happen and the right people will come into her life…
I will never forget our arrival to Brindavan – it started to rain and the chaotic quagmire of noisy rickshaws, overcrowded streets, dust and mud, made me not want to step out of the taxi at all! The place was entirely overcrowded with people and we had no idea where and how to find any decent accommodation. In that moment, Dr. Maya told me: "Just watch."
She then confidently exclaimed: "Baba – room! NOW!"
Before my mind had any time to analyze/judge what she just did, Dr. Maya ran out of the car and started brisk walking in the rain like a little girl, not knowing where she was going. Within a few seconds, one other Baba devotee from Croatia, a middle-aged lady, suddenly appeared behind a corner and shouted: "Maya! What are you doing here?! Hey, are you looking for a room? There is one vacant room next to ours. Come fast before it gets occupied. It's a madhouse here!"
Dr. Maya was reeling in victorious joy, jumping and giggling, and told me with a radiant smile: "You see – it works! Instant gratification! You know, Baba always says: Why fear when I am here."
I could not believe it – the room was so cute, small, and simply ideal for two of us. I was happy that I will be able to spend more quality time with Dr. Maya and enjoy more of her wisdom through experience sharing. I did not know what I admired about her more – her courage, intelligence, discipline, loving heart, or child-like lightness. She somewhat became my role model…
The next morning 4.30am was the time for us to go to the main 'Darshan Hall', eager to finally get to see Baba. After the ordeal of long lines, big crowds and almost two hours of waiting, with great love and excitement, we welcomed Baba.
I could not believe my eyes - how tiny and cute he was! From the photos I saw on the net, he seemed to be a bit fatter and somehow completely different. I just loved him instantly, the same way one feels when looking at someone’s new born baby. We cannot but react in the most loving ways because that what is pure and child-like within us responds spontaneously.
I felt a surge of loving energy as I literally stared at this tiny body of a giant. I remembered what Dr. Stojanovic, a reputed energy healer from my country, once said about his visit to India and ‘darshan’ (glimpse/vision of the Divine) of Sathya Sai Baba: "That was the first time I could clearly see someone's aura with my naked eyes. It was golden and gigantic – he was like a Sun, sitting in front of us. The entire crowd was actually sitting inside of this golden aura. That is how big and expanded it was."
As I observed the energy surge within me, I knew for sure that what Dr. Stojanovic said was true – I could not see it, but I could feel it clearly. I was amazed to see some people falling asleep during the Darshan. Later on Dr. Maya explained to me that those people were not able to withstand Baba's high energy because their energy meridians are full of blockages. They thus had to fall asleep in order to allow the system to readjust. Indeed, during those ten days that we spent with Baba, I experienced myself feeling sleepy in the middle of the day several times. Dr. Maya would just laugh and, referring to my Martial Arts and Yoga trainings, enjoyed to tease me: "And you thought you were in shape, huh?"
to be continued
Copyright © Jolita Kelias, October 2011
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