Continuation...
We sat together for the remainder of the classes. She told me she was a therapist, it was evident we shared many of the same beliefs, she told me about a monthly metaphysical meeting held on Saturdays at The Factory at Franklin. She was long-time friends with the developer who had bought the old stove works manufacturing company and turned it into a unique shopping mall comprised of artists and one-of-a-kind shops. She gave me the gentleman’s name and said she would tell him to expect my call.
I found out the fellow who ran the meetings and two partners bought up old buildings in the town of Franklin some years before and were responsible for the historic renovation and preservation of Main Street which today is the town’s signature and its main attraction.
In his career as a developer, this man did a great deal more for Franklin to make the town what it is today, but it’s what he did for himself that is of interest to my story. At the height of his success, he left it all and headed to California, where he spent two years studying to be a minister of Religious Science, eventually finding his way to the Institute of Noetic Sciences which was founded by Apollo 14 Astronaut Dr. Edgar Mitchell in response to a spiritual awakening he experienced in space.
After eight years in California, the founder of the group returned to Franklin and applied the metaphysical principals he now engendered to become an even more successful business man. My Master Gardener friend, the owner of the Factory and another person had begun the informal metaphysical discussions over lunch. As people heard about it and wanted to participate, it expanded into a group of some thirty free-thinkers and moved to a larger meeting space.
As for so many others, the meeting became my oasis, my only link to my past life. Filled with people of like-mind, I soaked up the energy. Loosely organized, the group has no name, no dues, no set agenda, and requires no commitment, one simply shows up, the host begins the discussion and off we go.
I continued to work on the retreat and centre. I pondered it, researched it, dreamed about it, talked about it and made copious notes about it. I attended classes and seminars at the Center for Non-profit Management, I clipped articles from newspapers and magazines and I waited.
I waited for something to happen, I looked for a sign but nothing happened and there was no sign. I tried to make it happen, because I wanted it to happen, because I needed it to happen but it didn’t happen. Again and again I tried to give it back, “I don’t know what you want me to do, I don’t know how to do it, I can’t do it. It’s too much, too hard and nobody believes me. Please, take it back! Give it to someone who can make it happen because I’ve tried and I can’t.”
And, as always in my weakest moments, Spirit would give me something - a person, an idea, a message, or an open door. I would regain my courage and my conviction, my commitment and my purpose. I would try again and yet, when I became too determined for my own sake, to dependant on the outcome, the door would swing shut once more. It was not the time and I was not ready.
By 2008, I could do no more, I was spent. Over the years, I had shared my earnings with those who had less than me - family, friends, spiritual seekers, clients and their families and I supported individual and organizational efforts concerned with human suffering, wildlife and the environment. If I stayed on the job another ten years I still would not have enough money to retire comfortably and I would be an empty soul in a broken body.
Both my work and I were suffering, I could not think clearly, I was disorganized, my memory was unreliable and I was experiencing joint and muscle pain. I could no longer keep up with the mental or physical demands of the job. I don’t believe I would have been fired but lives depended on doing my job to its utmost, it was time to go. And so, against the recommendation of my boss, co-workers and friends, I made the leap of faith, this time, however, it felt more like falling off a cliff. I retired with money to live frugally for two years, my dream and my vow.
I was asked to stay on three of my cases for a short period of time since I had good relations with my clients and their families. This helped me to ease into retirement and added to my income.
My daughter, who visited from Kentucky twice a year decided to stay in Tennessee to work with me on the retreat and centre. Having learned to garden with my mother, she had both flower and vegetable gardens at her place in Kentucky which drew the admiration and attention of her neighbours. After I took the Master Gardener classes, she came down in the spring for a few weeks to help get my flowers in and again in the fall to put them to bed. Since she was going to stay she enrolled in the Master Gardener classes which I audited so we could learn together. This became a special time for us, as the last time we were together for any length of time our lives revolved around illness and death.
In my determination to move forward with GoodWorks, I had collected so much information, it was a jumble of paper in boxes and ideas in my head. There was so much and it was so disorganized, I was unable to speak coherently about it to anyone. Trying to clear my head, I opted to pull back to try to re-open and re-connect with my higher self.
Knowing I could not go back in time, I still yearned for the person I had been on retreat so many years ago. How could I reconcile where I am now with where I was then? I felt dense and heavy, disconnected and isolated; I struggled to remember my true nature knowing that was the key to the retreat and centre.
In the summer of 2009, I felt a strong shift in energy. An inner guidance urged me forward. I solicited small donations and was humbled by having to borrow money from family and friends as I pushed on.
I revised our mission statement to better reflect the information I now had, that is: to preserve a historic homestead as a retreat and whole-life learning centre; to provide both the physical and non-physical environments to realize our greater sense of identity as individuals and as a world community; to live in right relationship with ourselves and one another, and to honour the Earth as our mother ~ the giver of life. Our purpose: to weave the wisdom of our pastoral past with the knowledge of modern ecology; to bring together people of all ages, professions, lifestyles and beliefs; to provide common ground for those who value self-reflection, historic preservation, the natural environment, sustainability, self-sufficiency and a simpler lifestyle; and to actualize the belief that we are all related in the web of life, and, therefore our individual actions affect the whole.
I began to meditate again. Even though my mind was still out of control, I pulled it back and persevered. I would ask for answers, fall into a fitful sleep and wake up in the morning knowing what to do. I had a long way to go, but information was coming to me again. The time was right.
Out of the blue, I received a phone call from a grant finding organization. The man on the phone assured me I had contacted them about the program. I searched my memory but couldn’t remember having done it. He had my contact information and said I had given it to them. He continued to talk for almost an hour, insistent that the company was on the up and up and they could help me find grants for my not for profit. I would receive a two week free trial, after that the cost was sixty-nine dollars a month and I could opt out at any time.
He gave me the web address, provided a temporary password to log on and the customer service number, then asked for a credit card number to charge two dollars and ninety-nine cents for postage for the tutorial CD they would send, I offered instead to mail a cheque for the cost. He said that wouldn’t work, if I wanted the program, I had to sign up now and he needed the card number to charge the monthly fee should I decide to continue the service. Remembering all the warnings about scams, I told him I wouldn’t give him the number, so would pass on the offer but before I could say goodbye, I felt something, an urge to go ahead, to trust. I hesitated then gave him my credit card number.
At three AM I awoke, upset at what I had done, the terrible consequences of my action running through my mind. I ran downstairs, turned on the computer, went to the website and logged on. Everything was there, it looked good. I called the customer service number; a recorded message urged me to call during regular business hours. I went back to bed and, surprisingly, fell asleep.
I called the number again first thing the next morning and spoke to a nice man who assured me the company was legitimate, they do provide information on private and government grants and, if I needed it, they would provide a free counsellor to guide me through the process. He directed me to go online and where to sign up for the service. I told him I could not afford the monthly fee, so was already certain I could do no more than the free trial. He said that was alright, wished me the best and felt certain that I would be satisfied and return once I was funded.
I went online and signed up for a counsellor, although still not totally convinced it was legitimate. Less than an hour later, I received a call. The woman assured me the service was above board and there would be no fees added to my card. She said she was a grant writer with over twenty years experience; she had been with this company for the last five years and never had a complaint. She asked about my business and what type of grants I was looking for. I said I could not continue the service after the free-trial, she said we had better get to work.
We talked about my plans, GoodWorks’ status with the IRS and she advised as to areas I could apply for grants. All the information I had in my head began to tumble out, I could hear the excitement in her voice as she asked more questions. She asked if I had a business plan, I didn’t. She told me to go online for a sample, I said I wasn’t good on computers, she said she would e-mail one specific to charitable organizations, then offered to continue counselling me if I couldn’t subscribe to the service and gave me her personal e-mail address. The people were coming.
She sent the plan, I looked at it and my eyes glazed over. I wrote back that I did not understand what I should put in each section. She re-sent the form, this time with notes under each heading. She guided me through the document, explaining in simple terms what to include.
It was as if a magic wand had been waved over my head, I knew what to write and it came out in an organized and focused manner. With the subheading “Where the fabric of the old is mended with the new,” the plan was a culmination of all my life experiences. Now structured as a homestead retreat and whole life learning centre, plans call for preserving a historic home, where we will be a model of modern environmental methods and sustainable living. We will teach classes in organic farming and food preservation. We will reclaim wildlife habitat and participate in local, state and federal wildlife programs. We will provide teaching opportunities to the elderly to pass down the old ways and we will provide temporary respite for foster children. Our retreat will offer inner-life work, prayer and meditation, fire circles, medicine wheel teachings and much more. Also planned was a three day educational event focused on the Native American relationship with the land culminating in a concert featuring Native American artists. It was all here, every experience of my life was represented.
I sent the completed document back, she replied, “Awesome!” Soon after, she wrote to say she was very ill, after one more e-mail exchange I didn’t hear from her again.
A woman I met in a writing workshop was the conduit for the next person to come forward. This individual had an MBA and agreed to help write a business plan. She guided me through the process of taking the information from the form I had completed and expanding it into a thirteen page detailed proposal for potential donors.
Taking the information I now had to The Community Foundation, a staff member guided me through the process of posting GoodWorks’ profile on their GivingMatters website. This foundation not only gives grants to charitable organizations such as mine but serves as a clearing house for other grant makers by verifying that the background information is complete and accurate and that state and federal filings are current – all required before a profile is permitted to be posted on their website. Knowledgeable donors refer to this site before giving to a charity and then, secure in its legitimacy, can make their online donation here.
Leadership Music, also a charitable corporation, re-enters the picture. Each spring, the organization takes applications for the fall class. Hundreds of applications come in from across the entire spectre of the music industry. In addition to those usually associated with music such as performing artists, songwriters, managers, publishers and engineers; bankers, law firms and other ancillary businesses are also represented. Fifty-four were accepted in the fall class of 2010, including the Mayor of Nashville.
The curriculum is carried out during a series of six Program Days; each one focused on a different aspect of the business plus an opening overnight retreat structured to acquaint class members with one another and a final closing retreat to recap what they have learned.
I was asked to serve on the opening retreat committee. Having maintained my membership in the organization, it had been years since I was actively involved. A young woman in the office, who was head of operations and development, oversaw the classes and activities. In addition to being organized and detail oriented, she was very kind and encouraging; she made certain I was always included and made to feel comfortable.
The committee was a great group of graduates from various years. We worked well together and I met many members of the new class. Away at the retreat, I sat at the dinner table with the young woman who was so helpful. She knew from my profile with the organization I had a not for profit and asked about it. I told her in way too many words jumping from one concept to another. She asked if I had anything on paper. I said I would be happy to send her the proposal I had recently put together.
A few months later, the young woman and I were sitting across the table from one another going over the proposal and she made an offer of her own. She had recently resigned from Leadership Music to spend time on her own company as a strategic business counsellor. She offered to take me on as a client, with payment to be made after I was funded. She felt confident in the plan and that together we could make it work.
During the process of talking to people to get the word out about what I was doing, more often than not, I was met with scepticism and a lack of confidence. That happened especially when I said I thought the retreat and centre would be in Leiper’s Fork. Williamson County is the “richest” in Tennessee and consistently ranks high in the nation. People doubted I could afford to buy property in the county and certainly did not think anyone would donate valuable land to me.
For me, finding the land was not a problem, after all, Spirit had said “the people will come and the land will reveal itself when the time is right and you are ready.” It was obvious the people were coming, it was coming together, so the time was right and for the first time, I felt ready.
Still somewhat tenuous after so many stops and starts, I let the naysayers get to me and was afraid to make the commitment to Leiper’s Fork, even though I believed the way I was brought here was part of the grand plan. I prayed again, asked for guidance, meditated and went to sleep. The next morning I awoke with certainty, the land is in Leiper’s Fork, I should make that part of my conversation and be confident of it. With that realization, everything kicked into high gear and amazingly, my aches and pains went away. I was energized, I was healed, I was whole.
My business counsellor and I met weekly; I was the dreamer, she the realist, everything I did not know about business, she did and she had the vision. At first, she pulled the labouring oar, but as time went on she mentored me into assuming a larger responsibility for the business operations.
We worked together to reduce the thirteen page proposal down to a power point presentation. She patiently guided me through reducing the larger detailed document into a precise, bulleted slide presentation of the most important facts. Next she set up a website, added parts of the larger presentation, a button to make donations and finally, added the slide presentation.
She suggested I contact one of the members in the recent class of Leadership Music, the Vice President of taxes and royalties for a large law firm which includes a number of major artists on its client list. I called and he agreed to meet with us to strategize tax benefits for a potential donor, he invited a senior partner in the firm to sit in on the meeting, as well. We took the information they provided and worked it into our plan.
The meeting provided more than just facts, however, as both of these experienced and knowledgeable individuals offered encouragement and believed our plan would work. So much so, they met with us again, this time bringing in their “go to guy” – an expert from another law firm who represents major foundations and organizations such as ours – all of their time and insights were a gift to GoodWorks.
Spirit continued to guide me in the night. I awoke one morning knowing we should have an office in Leiper’s Fork Village. It would give us a greater presence in the community and we could begin operations immediately while continuing our search for the retreat acreage and, ultimately, an office and classrooms there would free up space at the homestead.
Driving through the village, my daughter and I had noticed activity taking place on a large empty lot. Located at the edge of the village proper, someone had moved what appeared to be three old houses onto the site. It looked a mess but as its makeover progressed, my daughter said, “Mom, that’s our place!”
Two small frame houses had been moved onto the three acre site from a historic neighbourhood in Franklin. The two were joined together and a room that had been cut off of one house, sat apart and to the side.
We stopped to talk to the builder who gave a tour of the house and told us what he envisioned for the completed property. I was stunned, had I asked him to build something to suit our plans, it was this. There was land for gardens, the living room as the classroom, the large kitchen for cooking and food preservation classes, the dining room doubles as a conference room, space for an office and a meditation room, a bedroom for use as the library/media room, the master bedroom to accommodate overnight guests and the quaint little room sitting apart from the house would be our retail shop. It is perfect the embodiment of “mending the old with the new.”
Now we had something tangible to work toward. Warned by some not to get my expectations too high, I assured them that if this place is in God’s plan for us, all I have to do is my part and if it is not, it is the focus we need to move forward.
We negotiated with the builder in hopes of securing the property, revised the power point presentation specifically for this site and began to formulate a capital investment fund-raising campaign.
My friend, the owner of The Factory at Franklin, got fully behind the project now saying if it was ten years earlier in his career, he would do it himself but he was at a different place in his life. He mentioned a long-time friend, his former partner in the preservation of historic downtown Franklin who is a well-known environmentalist with an interest in Native American culture and has the personal fortune and connections to make the project happen if he is inclined. Armed with the presentation, figures, projections and benefits to an investor, he agreed to take the information to his friend.
Even though I had lived in Leiper’s Fork for eight years, it was only since retiring that I made the acquaintance of a few of my neighbours. To remedy that situation, I joined the Leiper’s Fork Community Association and through a series of random coincidences, met folks who have the teaching and artisan skills needed when the retreat and centre opens.
Having made the commitment to Leiper’s Fork, one other piece of the puzzle was still missing. When I was living in Bells Bend and given the task to heal the Earth and help the People, I had interpreted the People with a capital P to mean the original people, that is, Native Americans. While working at PCDO, I lost my connection to the Native American community and had come to believe I was mistaken and the reference was to people in general.
Again, through prayer, meditation and asking for guidance, the answer came. Through helping the People, I would help the people. I knew there were some Native Americans in the area, not necessarily full-bloods but short of the reservations, there weren’t many full-blooded indigenous people around these parts any more.
The first summer I lived in Leiper’s Fork, I had volunteered to work at a pow-wow organized by a small group of Native Americans. The event was put on for several years but not for the last two. I had hoped that an event I had in mind could be coordinated with the pow-wow, but that looked not to be likely now.
I talked to my business advisor about the missing piece. She told me that her husband, a music business attorney had a client who was Native American and said she would mention our project to him. She did, and in an exchange of e-mails, he said he would like to perform at the concert culminating the event and provided the names of a highly respected couple in Leiper’s Fork he believed could help with that aspect of the project. It was the couple who had produced the pow-wow.
Within a matter of weeks, my advisor and I met with them and secured their commitment, he would sit on the board of directors to head up the Native American component and his wife would assist. During our conversation it came out they had been involved in the demonstrations in Bells Bend and we knew many of the same people; the circle began nearing completion.
My journey through time is not complete, there is much to do - warp yet to fill, shuttles to pull, treadle to rock and the weaving of belief with experience. The textures and colours of my life’s tapestry far surpass anything I could have imagined except, perhaps, the feel and hue of sublime consciousness.
As you read my story see how each part that appeared unrelated was connected by the glimmering threads of truth, joy and love. I pray the Light plays upon those threads as you recount your own life story.
I leave you this thought - you are never too old and it is never too late to realize your dream. When many have given up their hopes for the future, fear not, live your passion and remember life is a continual progression upward toward the Light.
My story is still writing itself even as I type these last lines. I am looking forward to tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and I am grateful for this moment and this moment and this moment.
Ga li e li ga, I am grateful (Cherokee).
Connie Westfall
Founder and CEO of GoodWorks
Tennessee, USA
www.goodworksinleipersfork.org
Copyright © Jolita Kelias, January 2012
All Rights Reserved
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